Expense Report

“Here’s my expenses,” says the tech with a smile,
“Sorry it’s late, they always take me a while.”
The tech’s boss looks over his half-moon glasses,
And says “I hope you remembered those expense report classes.”

“Oh sure," said the tech, "they’re all right in line.
Check ‘em out and I’m sure you’ll agree that they’re fine.”
So the boss took a peak and exclaimed “Holy Cow!”
“Don’t you know there’s a limit on hotel expense now?”

“And what’s this I see, a dinner for two?
Seems to me, my lad, that I only employ you . . .”
The car rental was wrong and the hotel was too much,
The boss made the call and the dinner went Dutch.

The report it was signed and sent to HQ,
Where it was reviewed by another one, boss #2.
“Holy Cow!” he exclaimed, and began to perspire,
"I can see this report's from an out-and-out liar!”

So he calls up the tech and says, “I need some answers.”
The report you submitted says “entertainment with dancers.”
“That’s true," said the tech, "can’t you see the names on the list?”
But boss 2 was sure he’d found something, that boss 1 had just missed.

“I see the names, and I believe you are faking.”
The tech frowned at the case boss #2 was now making.
“I was in there that night,” said boss #2,
“And I am quite sure that I didn’t see you!”

“Well I saw you," said the tech, who was now quite annoyed,
“Remember the flashes? That was my Polaroid!”
“Er, OK," said boss 2, "this all seems to be fine . . .”
And the report made it closer to the finishing line.

Boss #3 was a cakewalk, and signed off in no time,
He reviewed and for good measure, deducted a dime.
Boss #4 took longer, and with consideration,
He deducted a dollar, for expenses inflation.

And then Boss #5 made a pass and found out
That the tech had a claim for a lone dinner out.
“No customers, no business? What were you thinking?
The “owed employee” column was seriously shrinking.

But then the report made it to the final inspection,
To the accountant with the expense-error finding erection.
Sure enough, he could find twelve things that weren’t right,
And he deducted them all until it looked just about right.

The tech got his expenses and gave a loud shout -
The expenses he’d claimed were all taken out.
In their place was a request for a check for three dollars,
For inconveniencing the company’s financial scholars.

The tech took some note of the events that had passed,
And the debt that from traveling he’d slowly amassed.
He drafted a letter saying, “I can’t work here no more!”
And he paid his $3 on the way out the door.